Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Mid Year Thoughts

Raw, Untouched Photos taken by me in Baguio City from my iPod
Contemplating on what transpired, it changed my perception in life. It came to the point when I felt it's freaking hard to be happy. That you have to put in so much effort just to make yourself happy. Until this day came that I figured I don't want to be happy anymore. Because it's scary. Scared of what it could ask from us in return. It came to the point where I'd rather get used to sadness and numbness. So that when genuine happiness comes to you, you'll appreciate every single bit of it. And hopefully, it'll be worth it.
"It's not the future that you're afraid of. It's repeating the past that makes you anxious."
And I still think that literally NOTHING can be tantamount nor can suffice the things that I have gone through in the past few months.
If you have experienced lying on the floor at 7pm, heavily breathing, well, you actually find it hard to breathe anymore because of so much pain and non-stop crying for days, and you're just wishing in that same moment for you to just disappear. If you have experienced having this striking pain in your chest, which seemingly feels like a huge, long sword stabbing you, with invisible blood flowing, you would understand. The reason why Taylor Swift has a LOT of break up songs, why Justin Timberlake wrote "Cry Me a River", why Miley Cyrus did Wrecking Ball, why there are people committing suicide just to end or escape pain.
And I am really proud of those people, including myself,
who, with the help of those who truly love us, were able to pass through these bleakest time of our lives.
Healing, together with FORGIVENESS takes TIME.

#SituationsThatShapeUs #UphillBattle
originally written by me on 06/18/16 13:18

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